The Tower of the Firstborn

For anyone who’s wondered whether anyone is putting out amazingly cheesy and badly dubbed movies these days, I would like to bring The Tower of the Firstborn to your attention.  If you follow that link you will find a movie titled in Italian from 1998, but you will notice that it was released on DVD in the States under its English title just this past May.  I found it in the Redbox and rented it because it looked interesting – and I’m glad I didn’t have my heart set on a fantastic heretofore unheard-of historic epic, because Matt and I were laughing hysterically by about five minutes in.

Now, this was actually filmed as a TV miniseries by Italian producers, filmed in Tunesia, and it was first released (as far as I can tell) three years ago in Hungary – and yet everyone is obviously speaking English, even though the dubbing doesn’t always line up right.  And you’ll run into everything from amnesiacs to an airplane rigged as a “desert boat” to murderous brothers, greedy sheiks, mysterious aliens, incompatible lapses of time, and a man who looks entirely too much like the Catholic Church’s image of Jesus playing the heroic lead.  If it’s not obvious and cliche, it’s overacted.

I’m not sure I recommend it on its own merits, but if you have three or four hours to kill and you want some great laughs, it can’t be beat.

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