Just in case you were wondering about the outcome of our little vet visit:
She also got stapled back together. These are the consequences of clandestine late-night suture chewing.
She doesn’t like moving around, since she keeps getting the collar stuck on things, so she tends to just stand in the middle of the room and look at us pitifully. Matt got her to lie down on her bed (i.e. helped her) and now she’s looking at us pitifully from over there, but still apparently following the “it’s safer not to move” mentality.
I’m torn between pity and extreme amusement.