It seems that every so often–sometimes longer, sometimes shorter–I find it necessary to step back and refocus. People who don’t know me very well laugh when I give them my standard self-description: tall, blonde, and easily distracted. “Easily distracted?” they say, “You read huge books in one sitting!” As if that’s the pinnacle of focus and attention. Seriously, people, I read books in one sitting (or as close as I can get) because if I don’t, I’ll get distracted, put it down and more than likely forget I ever intended to finish it. And because it’s a convenient way to be distracted from other things I’m supposed to be doing.

Sometimes I’m conscious of allowing distractions to edge their way in, and other times I look up and realize I have no idea how I got so far off track.

So I’m refocusing. Matt’s out of town again this week on a nice long wilderness backpacking trip courtesy of Solid Rock Outdoor Ministries, so I’ve got plenty of time and space to clear out the mental cobwebs.

Family: Happily, one of the aspects of my life that hasn’t slipped much lately. Goal is to maintain and deepen time/interaction with family.

Career: Two aspects of this, the writing and the day job. As the day job looks much different now than it did 6 weeks ago, and looks more and more likely to disappear sooner rather than later, I can dedicate more time to the writing. In the current job market, I’m leaning toward investing myself in writing rather than wasting time and energy trying to find a nonexistent position. Regardless, I need to set short and long-term goals for my writing, and I need to find someone to crack the whip and make me stick to them once I set them.

Finance: We spend more money than we ought. We have a peculiar financial situation, and it often results in a rather lax view toward budgeting and savings. I’m taking steps to adjust our mentality on that, beginning with trying out the MVelopes.com service.

Health and Wellbeing: I caught up on sleep last week, and it’s a wonderful thing. I’ve also gotten myself swimming semi-regularly at the apartment complex pool. I’m working on setting up a regular time to take Shiloh to the dog park, which gives us both exercise, and I’m really really (really) going to recommit to my WiiFit schedule.

Recreation: Much of this also falls under exercise, since much of our recreation is active, but I’m making sure I block out time for reading. We also got an XBOX 360 recently, and Fable 2 allows us to log into the same game together and kill bad guys. I’ve STILL got a big unfinished quilt that needs to be completed. And I do very much like meeting people for coffee.

Personal: I am learning about the care and keeping of cacti (turns out they do best in steady, diffused light, not direct sunlight, so Bob2 is back in the office) and I am contemplating installing a window-box-style herb garden on the porch railing, if I can be reasonably assured I won’t kill them all. My writing definitely counts in this category, too, for a variety of reasons.

Friendship: I generally operate with a bit more distance than some people in terms of friendships, so once I plug back into my “usual” sources of information and communication, there’s not much of a course correction that’s going to happen here. There are a few people, though, who I want to be better friends with, and I’ll be intentional about getting together with them.

Community: For all intents and purposes, the church congregation serves as our community. I’d love to get more connected in the neighborhood and the town eventually, but right now it’s just not possible. I’ll be keeping an eye out, though, and laying the foundation to move on that when the time is right. Meanwhile, maintaining relationships with people in the church, our small group, etc., are the standard.

Household: Goal is to do a general sweep of the house every night to tidy up – clean the kitchen, run the dishwasher if necessary, put the stuff that always lands on the dining room table away, corral the dog toys, find the remotes, etc. Once a week laundry and vacuum, and we’ll be cutting back drastically on eating out.

Spiritual: This one’s between me and God, but it’s definitely part of my consideration in refocusing and being deliberate about how I spend my time.

Okay, okay, this makes three days without updates. You should know by now that my promises of daily postings are more like wishful thinking than anything else.

So, here’s your update. We did go to IKEA on Saturady (I was going to take a photo to post, but Matt wouldn’t let me. Party pooper.) and we bought too much stuff, as always happens when we’re let loose in that fabulous store. Picked up a few Christmas gifts for family members, some airtight canisters to store our coffee in, new pillows, things like that. We also hit up a couple other places, including Payless Shoes, where I got these (much cheaper than that) and another pair, even cheaper, that I can’t find on the website. Both very cute and comfy. Yay shoes!

Yesterday (that would be Sunday) we made a rather abortive attempt at hiking. There were several obstacles, but between the semi-slushy snow on the trail (but not enough to make snowshoes worthwhile, of course) and the unrelenting rain, we turned back sooner rather than later, and spent pretty much the rest of the day avoiding the outdoors, because it was rather uninviting. And since it was raining while we were hiking, we never pulled out the camera, so no photos. Not that you could have really seen anything anyway.

I have, so far, read three books.

This morning, we decided to head over to Park City and see where the day led us. We walked around historic downtown PC for a while, then went east to Kamas for lunch and then farther east into the Wasatch National Forest for a bit of mountain biking. It was muddy and tiring and I’m way out of shape, and we didn’t go very far, objectively speaking, but it was lots of fun, and I’m glad we did it. Still having plenty of daylight, we swung down and got a really fantastic view from the top of Memorial Hill in the Heber Valley. Here’s part of the view, plus proof that I’m actually on the trip:

See? Skinny, pale, and squinting. It must be me!

Anyway, from there we headed a bit farther south and west over a well-traveled gravel road to get to Cascade Springs, which was lovely and interesting and generally great. Matt took some great photos, but apparently I didn’t upload any. At any rate, we were going to continue on a paved alpine scenic route up past Mount Timpanagos and on to Provo, but it was closed. The nerve! But never fear! There was another option–a state park road that dropped south to the road we needed.

It did come with a warning, but that seemed like much more of a formality than anything.

I mean, look at that! You can almost hear the birds singing! That sign? Biggest. Understatment. Ever.

On the up side, Leo (that would be our 4Runner) got to have fun on vacation, too!

That was the first of three water crossings. Then there was the freakishly steep climbing, which we probably would not have managed without Leo’s low 4-wheel drive gear. There were a few very scary moments. Not, “Oh no, we’re going to die” scary but, “Hmm this might be very, very bad for the car” scary.

But we got some really amazing views. (97% sure this is Timpanagos)

We wouldn’t have gotten anything like that without hiking for several hours. It was fantastic. Very cool. Very fun. I have no desire to ever do it again. :) Definitely an unforgettable part of this vacation.

Between the driving, which always makes me stiff, the mountain biking, and the off-roading adventure, I anticipate not being able to get my own body out of bed in the morning without help. I’ll make sure there’s a book or two on the bedside table so I won’t have to move if that’s the case. Never hurts to be prepared.

Viva vacation!

Okay, so I don’t have any Utah photos for you today, but I do have photos from the first part of our morning. We stayed outside of Grand Junction and took the time to drive through the Colorado National Monument, which really is lovely. We’d like to return sometime and do some hiking, rather than being relegated to the Rim Road. It was a spectacular drive, though, with many opportunities to pull over and walk to an overlook and take photos or just enjoy God’s creation. Driving through on an overcast Friday morning certainly affected traffic, and there were hardly any other people. Amazing quiet, and a really surprising lack of wind, given the fact that wind and water are the chief agents of erosion in this really amazing terrain.

It’s hard to see the vegetation much there, but up along the road there were old trees twisted by the wind, stunted by the harsh conditions. Most of them are probably a hundred years old, but look much smaller. Here’s one that must have started out in a crack in the rock, but has gotten big enough that it looked like it was rooted directly in the sandstone. Very cool.

Tomorrow we’re going to take it easy, really relax and unwind, and maybe venture out to IKEA. Whee IKEA!

In Christ alone my hope is found;
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My comforter, my all in all—
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save.
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied;
For ev’ry sin on Him was laid—
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain;
Then bursting forth in glorious day,
Up from the grave He rose again!
And as He stands in victory,
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me;
For I am His and He is mine—
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death—
This is the pow’r of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home—
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand.

Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend

Today is April 6th. I always notice when this date comes around, though I haven’t mentioned it to many people.

Four years ago, my grandmother died. She was terribly special to me, and I still miss her. In the months following her death, I often found myself thinking I ought to call and tell her this or that, or that I would put it in my next letter, and it always came as a shock that I couldn’t. It still happens from time to time, but nowhere near as often.

There have been a lot of changes in the family in the last four years–marriages, babies, cross-country moves. Life moves forward and takes us with it. The missing is no longer sharp and sudden, but gentle, savored because it also brings memories of traveling and sitting up close at the opera and her exclamations when I described a teammate’s injuries while playing Ultimate frisbee, and the day when she wouldn’t hug me because my dyed hair and painted face alarmed her.

Yes, that really is me.

I don’t think I’ve posted a picture of her before, so here’s one I’ve always liked. I was showing her plans for a quilt.

Three years ago, I wrote a piece in memory of her life, and I read it again every year. In case you’re interested, here it is:

In memoriam

My grandmother died a year ago today. I have not yet attempted to put my thoughts and feelings into words, though the pen or the computer is my preferred method of expression in most cases. At times I question whether I have truly grieved for her, but more often there is a quiet acceptance of her absence. I miss her painfully, at times. I miss her interest and her wisdom. I miss being able to write her letters. I miss sharing my life with her, and hearing her excitement about my crazy ideas. But I also know that she is in a much better place, and I will see her again. I know that she knows about my crazy ideas and is still excited about them.

Let me tell you about her.
Read the rest of this entry »

Well we’re here, and we’ve been here for a few days. We’re trying to balalnce between being tourists and being people relaxing in a great rental condo. Mom brought her sewing machine, and I brought all that fabric I bought last week (well, most of it) and I’ve been working on the quilt top while she puts together photo albums from our childhood. I think she’s caught up to about 15 years ago now. Still a little ways to go, but it’s been fun to look through old photos as she puts the pages together. Man, I had some really appalling fashion tastes.

We’ve explored the area we’re staying in (near Opryland, for any who are familiar with Nashville) and avoided real super-touristy things over the weekend. This morning we visited The Hermitage, Andrew Jackson’s plantation, and had a very nice time all together. I don’t know that I would have chosen there to live, personally, but it’s very nice, all things considered. Remarkable that six of the rooms have original wallpaper – 170 years old now – and the house has been a museum for over 120 years. It’s rather rare to see things like that here in the States.

Tomorrow we’ve got tickets to the Grand Ole Opry show, which we’re properly excited about. Later this week we’re also going to take ourselves on a tour around downtown, visit the reproduction of the Parthenon, and take ourselves down to the Belle Meade Plantation where several of America’s premiere Thoroughbred lines began. Those are the high points, but we’ll probably fit in a few other things here and there.

If you want to tune in with us at the Opry show, it’ll be broadcast on 650 AM WSM Nashville — also streaming live at their website at 7:00 pm central time. Tuesday night.

That’s about all. Matt tells me he’s been feeding the dog and he sent me photos of the pot rack he built and installed to hang out pots and pans in the kitchen, which are the two things I assigned to him before I left. It seems all is well.

Woohoo Nashville!!

1) The design I settled on had some very strange issues that I don’t have time to figure out how to fix right now, so we are settling for Choice #2. Yay birdie!

2) I don’t want to go to bible study tonight, but I’m going because my group is in charge of coffee snacks and I missed last week and I do like going, even if I feel like a slacker because I haven’t done my questions ahead of time for the second week in a row.

3) Most important: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MATT! Not that he much cares if I tell you all it’s his birthday, but I wanted to do it anyway. We went out for lunch and then went shopping (we tried to buy fun stuff, honest, but we ended up with socks, drain cleaner, and dishwasher detergent–we are definitely the life of any party). But really, back to the point: Happy Birthday. :) I will refrain from further mushy-ness now.

I got up this morning thinking it was a fine day for writing. Consequently, I haven’t written a thing.

I did make myself file our taxes, though, so at least that’s done. We get a refund–yay!–and it’s bigger than last year’s, which isn’t saying much, since we only got $7 last year. But I think that doing my taxes might have eaten my brain, because although I can think of three or four things off the top of my head that I could do (ranging from things I really ought to do all the way through things I really shouldn’t waste time on but that are usually fun), I have no desire to do anything. Nothing at all. No ambition, no drive. I could just sit here clicking “refresh” on my FaceBook homepage. Wait, that’s what I HAVE been doing for the last half hour.

So I thought as long as I was wasting my own time, I might as well waste yours, too. Generous, aren’t I?

Earlier this week, in the flurry of melodrama surrounding my laptop, I mentioned that I had an update about Bob2. Here it is:

I finally caved and dug out all the little glued-in rocks around Bob2′s base. I did this mostly with a rather long pencil, and even then Bob2 viciously attacked my fingers once or twice. His soil is now open to the air, and I added 1/4 cup of water right away, because he was very dry. I have a feeling that wasn’t enough water, but as we have established, I know nothing.

Anyway, there were a lot of rocks. I’ve kept them, at least for the time being, in case they come in handy for something. Here’s the photo of Bob2, freed of his gluey rocks, and the dish of rocks from which he has been freed. Beneath them is a page I pulled out of the newspaper with muffin recipes I thought looked tasty, and which served to keep my desk more or less un-dirt-ified while the glued-rock excavation took place.

So there you have it. Bob2 is, at least, not dead within his first month.

I’m headed to Nashville next week–any suggestions on activities I shouldn’t miss while I’m there? We’re pretty flexible on schedule.

And now I’m going to go be boring somewhere else, because you fine folks surely have better things to do. Have a good one!

I’m feeling almost alarmingly cheerful this morning. Maybe it’s because I think I’m finally catching up on my sleep deficit. Maybe it’s because I made lemon poppyseed muffins for breakfast this morning (YUM!). Maybe it’s because I’m caught up on all the pressing emails and online things I needed to catch up with. Maybe it’s because I fiddled with my GoodReads account so that it’s accurate and up-to-date, and I realized that I’ve read 27 books this year. Maybe it’s because, for the second day in a row, the temperature should rise about 70 today.

Maybe it’s because if my mood didn’t improve, I was going to shrivel up in my favorite fleece blanket and not come out for another two months.

Your guess is as good as mine. I’ve got a paper to edit for Matt, an article to read, and article to write for a newsletter, some critiques to work on, and maybe some crosswords to finish. Dinner tonight should be grand. One of my favorites: pan-fried polenta with veggies. Yum yum.

Okay, so that might be false advertising, because I’m not at all certain this will be a great update. But it will be an update, so it’s only 50% potentially false.

I’ve been reading a lot lately. I realize that some of you may laugh at such a statement, but I mean that I have been reading even more than usual lately, mostly because I haven’t been able to get my poor brain to focus on spitting out its own original material, so I’ve been inundating it with other people’s stories. I have no idea what I hope to accomplish in so doing, but that seems to be what’s happening.

In positive news, just in case you were wondering, Matt loves me. Do you want to know how I know? Of course you do! And even if you don’t, I’m going to tell you, because it’s my blog and I’ll cry if I want to. Oh, wait. Sorry. I had a Leslie Gore moment, but I think it’s done now. . . . Yeah. We’re clear.

But back to the issue at hand. How do I know Matt loves me, you ask? Because he cleaned the house today AND he made me gravy. That’s right, folks. Gravy. Chicken gravy especially for me to have to biscuits for dinner tonight, and enough to take care of dinner for both of us tomorrow night.

“But Betsy,” you say, “you don’t strike me as a biscuits and gravy kind of girl.”

Ah, and you’d be right. I don’t like just any biscuits and gravy. Well, chances are that I like almost any kind of biscuits. But gravy? I’m picky about my gravy.

That’s right.

And with that, I’m going to try to write a few more pages tonight. Because, you know, this manuscript has to get finished sometime.

Oh, and Bob2 is still alive, as far as I can tell.