I’m not sure there are words for this, but I love it:

I do not recommend spilling hot candle wax on one’s hair.

Not that most people would think it was a good idea, but I will advise you all to be especially careful around head-level liquid wax, because accidental spilling leads to the same result as intentional application.

The front right quadrant of my head is sporting a very attractive white dotted look this afternoon, courtesy of a votive candle I jostled while removing it from a high shelf in the sanctuary after church this morning. I’m starting with removal-by-hand to see if I can get most of it out that way, and then I intend to move on to a fine-toothed comb and a VERY hot shower involving lots of shampoo. Coverage ranges from easy-to-remove splatter bits to fully bonded clumps several inches long.

I will not try ironing it between two layers of paper towels until I have exhausted every other option, because I had hoped to wait another month before renewing my perm and I have a feeling that ironing my hair might negatively affect my fake curls.

Extra blonde points to me today!

Some people go above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to stupidity.

First of all, we have the folks down in Florida who want to split the state in two.

And then there’s this guy. I’m laughing so hard it hurts, and I can’t stop replaying this.

http://view.break.com/469591 – Watch more free videos

And that’s all in the stupid news tonight.

I’m far from the first to comment on this story, in which a frustrated British author recently sent chapters of various Jane Austen books to eighteen different publishers to see if she’d have more success than he, but I have a few comments to add.

First of all, sending a published author’s work in to see “whether the classics would do better than your book in today’s market” isn’t exactly a productive route to actually having your work published.  It might be mildly informative if you’re imitating that style, but I don’t recommend that anyway.  Better to spend your time and money writing and sending out your own work.

And then there’s this quote at the end, from the man who sent the frauds (and thus will likely never be published at all now, but that’s another discussion):

Getting a novel accepted is very difficult today unless you have an agent first. But I had no idea of the scale of rejection poor old Jane suffered.

If eighteen rejections represents a devastating “scale of rejection” then it’s no wonder this guy’s frustrated enough to plagiarize.  By my understanding, eighteen’s just warming up, whether submitting to agents or publishers.