Yes, yes. I promised to write more often and then I did not, in fact, write for another three months. I am an awful blogger. For what little it’s worth, I did sit down within a week of the last post and attempt to write about baby registries, but I deleted the whole thing when I realized that it had turned into a cynical and embittered rant about our society’s accumulative and ultra-consumerist tendencies.
Suffice to say that I am still alarmed and dismayed by the number of things deemed “essential” for the care of a baby, listed out by “authorities” for the “benefit” of first-time parents who desperately want nothing more than to give their children the best chance possible in this crazy, unfair, scary world. It makes me angry and uncharitable. And in the end, I decided the rant I’d written was neither helpful nor necessary… and then I got caught up with other things and haven’t posted anything since.
So here’s your blitz-update: the fall has been just as busy as we anticipated it would be; the beginning of winter even more busy, if that’s possible. The holidays are always busy for us, especially since Matt works at a church and there are all kinds of extra events added to the normal weekly schedules, but this year it seems to have reached a new level of busy, and that’s before adding the things we’re trying to do to get ready for the baby.
The cars, happily, seem to have decided to behave themselves and I have not had to visit the mechanic in months. It seems we finally found the root of the Mazda’s troubles (a poorly installed after-market alarm system) and since removing it and repairing the damage it did, it’s behaving like a normal car instead of a possessed machine sent from hell to make my life complicated and expensive. The 4Runner continues to run like a champ (the only problems we’ve ever had with it were directly related to an accident that nearly killed us both and almost destroyed everything we owned), has been outfitted with new tires and is now housed in the garage so that when I go into labor, it will be ready to take me to the hospital no matter what the weather is doing without even having to clean it off. Although we have the baby’s car seat in our possession, it has not yet been installed. Soon. The to-do list is long.
As one might expect, I am behind on pretty much everything Christmas-related, except the actual decorating of our house. The only reason that’s done is because a) I really love Christmas decorations and b) we have hosted several things at our house that motivated seasonally appropriate decor. Here’s a photo of our lovely Christmas tree, which my mom bought for us through a company that delivered this lovely specimen of fir directly to our front porch. It was really quite convenient, and we’re very happy with the result.
But I only just purchased gifts for our nieces and nephews yesterday, which makes it increasingly unlikely that they will arrive across the country in time for Christmas, especially since I’m also behind on the production and packaging of the annual toffee extravaganza. And although the Christmas cards are in my possession, due to some technical difficulties none of them are signed, addressed, or stamped for departure, much less having already been sent. So, you know, a bit of on time, a bit of late-as-usual.
As for the baby, it’s due in about three weeks, which seems momentous but is in fact one of the least precise pieces of information you might run across in today’s world. Because, you see, if I went into labor today (almost three weeks “early”) my baby would still be considered full-term; and they won’t force the baby out for medical reasons for about two weeks after my due date, all other things being equal. So basically we could have a baby at any point in the next five weeks. Or maybe not. Or maybe! Every day could be The Day! Or not. It’s very hard to maintain either a high level of excitement or of worry in such a situation, which means that I have a hard time answering people who ask me if I’m excited. I mean, really, who wouldn’t be excited about meeting the tiny person who’s been growing inside them for the last 9 months (give or take), given the fact (which is true of us but certainly not of everyone) that we were actually trying to achieve this precise result nine months (or so) ago?
Of course I’m excited.
Am I running over with bouncing excited energy at every moment? No. My hips and feet hurt too much for that, and I’m always tired; there’s too much to get done and despite the fact that I’m as on track as one can reasonably expect me to be, I’m severely unlikely to finish everything before it needs to be done. Plus, excitement is only excitement for so long. After a while it becomes manic, or it goes away. It’s not really a long-term sustainable emotion.
So yes, at appropriate times I am very excited about the baby that’s coming, and even about the fact that it’s coming soon (maybe very soon!). But no, it’s unlikely that at the exact moment when you ask me, I am welling over with unbearable ecstasy at the mere mention of the word “baby”. Might I suggest another version of the question? How about, “Are you looking forward to the baby coming, or do you wish you had more time? Or both, alternately?” Or how about not asking at all, because it’ll just be awkward when you ask a pregnant lady if she’s excited about the baby and she says “no”, won’t it?
Oddly enough, I didn’t intend to make this entirely an updatey-type post when I started out this morning, but that’s what it has become, and it’s long enough now that it’s what it will remain. But I have more to say on an entirely non-updatey subject and I intend to say it soon. Of course, I almost always intend to write more soon. But I’m working on adjusting my habits, so we’ll see how I do.